I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. I can’t put my finger on exactly why, I just feel like life hasn’t felt as sunny as it usually does. I haven’t had my positive pants on. It’s weird how an emotional funk like that affects every other area of your life. I haven’t felt super social, I feel ultra sensitive to things that aren’t a big deal and sometimes I just feel like physically weak. There have been a couple times at the gym where I felt like if I did one more lift, my knees were going to wimp out and crack in half or my lungs were going to burst after one run.
98% of the time, I’m fiercely optimistic, almost to a fault. I used to not understand how people couldn’t just “get happy,” but as I get older, I realize that it’s sometimes just good and healthy to accept your current state and let yourself feel it. Listen to that feeling and try to understand where it’s coming from. Sounds like some zen yoga type stuff, right? 😉
If we’re being honest…The struggle feels real in some areas of my life right now. Some part of it could have something to do with work. Doing freelance work is so great for flexibility and scheduling and picking the work you like to do, but it doesn’t really offer that supportive team-like environment that I thrive so well on. There are some exciting things in the works, but I wish it would just move faster. It’s so true that if you don’t feel fulfilled in your current work, it can affect everything else that you do.
Some part of it could be stage of life. I feel like I’m in this weird twilight zone of being a young married couple enjoying our time together pre-kids, and everyone looking at us wondering when we’ll start having kids of our own. We definitely want kids, but at the same time aren’t in a huge rush. A lot of our friends and family are either pregnant, have a baby, or have two kids and are going for #3. It’s so fun to watch them be parents and to be able to love on their kids. But as much as you’d like to tell yourself that your friendships don’t change once kids come into the picture and they have them and you don’t….it’s just not the same. I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t hard sometimes. They’re all like, “Let’s a have a play date!” with each other, and I’m like sweet…”I’ll bring my dog!” 🙂 I love my friends and their babes to the moon, but it’s definitely a different perspective being on the outside looking in at parenthood! You feel like you’re behind and need to catch up, like you’re not “in on the thing.”
Another part of it just feels like the continuous reminder of brokenness in this world. Man, there is just so much bad, especially lately. It’s hard to shake, watching natural disasters wipe out thousands of people’s homes and take lives, senseless violence, people I know getting and fighting cancer or other diseases. The list goes on. I would have been a terrible social worker because I just take things to heart way too much; I’d take all of it home with me every day.
But today, in the midst of all the Debbie Downer thoughts, as I left the gym, a notification popped up that someone had written on our Crossfit616 Facebook page. It was in reference to a kid that someone had taken under their wing who was going to be joining the gym. This boy needed workout clothes so this gal was asking for donations for him. I couldn’t help but smile as people started commenting right away that they had things to donate, that they’d like to buy him some sweet Crossfit616 swag, that they were excited he was joining our community and how much of an impact we could make in this kid’s life by loving on him. As I read the post and the comments, one word kept popping up in my head.
Gratitude for good people and strong communities who want to make a difference right where they’re at. Gratitude for being able to be a part of a community like this, a community that wants to love on people. Gratitude for having the resources to donate items, and gratitude that this kid was taking the leap to join us, despite his circumstances.
If ever you find yourself in a slump, the quickest way out is to start making a list of things you’re grateful for. Seriously, it works. Send a random thank you note to someone, or say a quick prayer of thanks first thing every morning that you were able to wake up and take a breath of fresh air, that you have a roof over your head, and have access to ALL THE COFFEE. We live in America, people! How great is this country? Do something kind for someone else, go out of your way to make someones day, no matter how small and mundane it may seem to be. Or make it a huge thing. Whatever your heart is leading you to do.
When I think about Jeff, the boy who will be joining our community because of someone else’s extreme generosity, the negative thoughts of mine seem to fade in the background, and the good things, the positive things, start to resurface. That’s the beautiful thing about how gratitude works.
“I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.” – Kahlil Gibran
Words to live by.
What are you grateful for?